I figured I’d do a re-cap because everyone else is. Nothing bad has ever happened as a result of just going along with the crowd.
I’ll be blunt, this year sucked ass. I mean, there were some definite good parts. Getting onto Tumblr and meeting all kinds of smart, cool, funny, nice people for one. Grizzly Bear, Dirty Projectors and St. Vincent all released excellent records and I was introduced to the awesome-ness that is Micachu, The XX and Passion Pit (I heard the Chunk of Change-EP last year but we got a full-lenght LP this year). But for the most part this year was lousy for these reasons:
- My Grandfather, one of the few people in my rotten family I actually liked and could remotely stand, died. And for completely stupid reasons on less. His death could’ve been prevented if there was someone with him who actually cared about him this would not have happened. Worst of all, based on their condition post his death, it looks like two of my uncles (who are part of the “people I like and can remotely stand) will be following after him soon.
- I’ve been rejected (sometimes spurn-fully so) by every girl I’ve pursued this year. Clean sweep. I know that seems kinda insignificant and whiny compared to a major death in the family, but it did it’s part in making this year suck. To be fair most of this is my fault as I only seem to be attracted to girls who are mean-spirited, self-centered and bitchy. The thing that bothers me the most about this is that it isn’t due to them being hot (so I can’t use shallowness as an excuse), I just seem to be attracted to PEOPLE like that in general, mostly because people treating me like garbage is what I’m used to. My big New Years resolution (even if those things are stupid to being with) is to stop acting like an idiot and get my act together.
- The thing that bothers me most about this year is that I’ve changed, and not of the better. I feel like the things I listed here, combined with personal and professional failures and intense family drama has made me more of a cold, bitter person. I can’t seem to feel any sort of happiness for other people, let alone myself. Though the particularities of events have changed, as they always do, my life hasn’t. Most of this is par for the course. Instead my reactions to them have changed. Instead of optimism, I turn a cynical eye to everything that happens. I’m 20, I don’t want to be this disillusioned yet (and besides, it’s gonna be 2010. “Hope!” “Change!” and all that. Cynicism isn’t as in vogue as it was in the early 90s)
You know what? FUCK THIS YEAR! Fuck it in the face ‘til it dies. I shouldn’t have to be this miserable. I’m a good person and I always try to do right by people so I deserve better. Next year will be better, ‘cuz if it isn’t I’ll kick it’s ass (Yeah, I’ll kick a year’s ass. What of it?)
Anyways I hope y’all guy’s year was better than mine. You guys are great and have helped me cope with a lot of shit and I’m truly grateful. Now I’m gonna go get ready to go to a New Years Eve party and get drunk and play Rock Band so I won’t be back ‘til 2010. I hope you guys have a great rest of the year.